To get your wingman to survive a 4 ship enemy against a 2 ship allied engagement, the name of the game is to keep them out of harm's way and have them engage easy targets. To keep them out of harms way, have them keep a good standoff distance away from the enemy aircraft. Also you need to lead them to turn away from an enemy missile far away from it. This is because the artificial intelligence of your wingman can not avoid missiles on their own. Having your wingman engage easy targets means you have them engage low threat targets. A good low threat target is one that is heading away from you with an aspect of 0 degrees and is going at a slow rate of speed. These targets are easy to hit and unlikely to fire at you or your wingman.
8) Keep the enemy aircraft at your six o'clock until they have fired all the missiles they are going to fire and their symbol disappears from the radar warning receiver. When doing this, keep checking on your wingman by monitoring your radar warning receiver to check that he stays behind you or by pressing the 8 key to check that he does so. If your wingman says engaged defensive, order him to rejoin formation. Then order him to close up formation. If he requests permission to engage, order him to weapons hold. Do not worry about being bossy. Fight your wingman's desire to turn around and into the missile. If he does this, he will get himself killed. 9) Now that the threat has disappeared from the radar warning receiver, turn around and order your wingman to fire at the two remaining targets. [see video 1
Instead, do the steps for a 2 ship formation at the top of the page. Before you do step one, order the element to return to base. When it is safe for the element to return, order them to return to formation.
Hands-off tactic (recommended, especially for four ship flights)